I was in a relationship with a divorced woman. The priest said...

I was in a relationship with a divorced woman. The priest came after the carol and you know what he advised us?

“It was especially painful for my partner's grandmother. She wanted us to get married, which we couldn't do because of our situation, says Mateusz. - Grandma died over Christmas. It so happened that on the day of her death, a priest came to our apartment after caroling...

A pastoral visit called a Christmas carol evokes many, sometimes extreme, feelings. For some it is a long-awaited and wanted visit, for others it is a visit of someone they do not know, and for others it is an unpleasant confrontation with uncomfortable questions. Especially couples who live together without being married may be at risk of the latter . Things could go in a completely different direction!

Senior's will

Mateusz shared with me his "carol" story that happened to him a few years ago.

“I was in a relationship with a divorced woman a few years ago,” he recalls. It was a life of sin. This especially hurt my partner's grandmother. This elderly woman was deeply religious and suffered greatly because of our situation. She wanted us to get married, which we couldn't do because of our situation.

Marriage is for life. Finally, during it, the words are said: " I will not leave until I die ". Life, however, writes various scenarios that no one planned. It also happens that the marriage was invalid from the very beginning, which means, in fact, it did not exist at all!

The priest came up with a proposal

Many people equate an annulment with divorce. However, these are quite different situations. An annulment is a confirmation after judicial examination that the marriage never took place. Divorce is the dissolution of a marriage, which has no place in the Catholic Church at all.


– My partner's grandmother died during Christmas and did not live to see her will fulfilled – Mateusza continues. – It so happened that on the day of her death, a priest came to our apartment after caroling. Interestingly, after a while of conversation with us, he asked about the annulment of the marriage .

I really like the attitude of this priest. Instead of cursing someone's head for living without marriage, he wants to help solve the case in accordance with what the Church says. He extends a helping hand with interest and concern to restore peace and stabilize the situation.

The case moved forward

– At his persuasion, we reported our case to the ecclesiastical court – Mateusz continues his story. – The entire procedure lasted two years, after which the court ruled that my partner's marriage was not valid.

I didn't ask what was the reason that this marriage didn't exist at all. There are many reasons to conclude that the marriage has not been concluded. It can be even the lack of freedom in this decision, ignorance of the rights and obligations related to marriage, hidden addictions, concealed mental illness, or disagreement with one of the elements of marriage: unity, indissolubility, procreation and upbringing of offspring. Diocesan courts deal with such cases.

– In this way – recalls Mateusz – we managed to fulfill the will of the deceased senior . It would not have been possible without the attitude of this priest! I remember the priest's visit as if it were a message from my grandmother and an impulse to take a step forward.

God can handle anything

– Someone once said – continues Mateusz – that God is able to bring good even out of sin!

His story shows me that it is so: man can turn good into evil, but he cannot do the opposite. God, on the other hand, is able to bring something good and beautiful out of evil.

He is also in the habit of using us, people, as exemplified by the one and only meeting with a priest during a Christmas carol. Or the attitude of a pious grandmother, who desperately wanted to change the situation of her loved ones. God doesn't need much to do good for us.